Committing to Self

Why is it so difficult to commit to time and space for ourselves?

I have given self-care much thought during these last years where I’ve dedicated time to thinking of such things.

I think we often get stuck in a rut while unconscious patterns rule our lives. We want change, but remain slaves to our own stories that run automatically like subliminal programming.

My friend and yoga teacher Jacqui Howles often reminds me… “These are all just stories, Audra!! JUST STORIES!!” This quote rings through the various dialogs all the voices in my head are having in any given moment, and ultimately helps to silent them.

Unconscious patterns keep us wanting a different outcome, but do not allow us to change. And just like that, we can become prisoners of our own bad habits.

Remaining in a state of self awareness takes practice and time to release these patterns while facing our fears that hold us back. This work is revolutionary and transformative. 

In the metaphysical world, it is called shadow work. This is the work that fosters healing our souls, but tends to be for those that believe in the existence of a soul. Which is not everyone.

The Self exists within the core of all of us, buried and disguised under the heavy baggage of generational imprints. After waking to the reality that we carry years of constructed armours that originally protected our vulnerability, we then become aware of how to deconstruct what still weighs us down.

So…what do we do to manage this? 

First, the answer rests in how deep are you willing to go? 

In my experience, people with ‘happier’ lives that involve less traumatic experiences have no interest in understanding the messages of our past. This speaks also to complacency, or lack of awareness in developing one’s self for personal betterment.

For others, a priority is made to submerge self-driven paths to reach enlightenment and have a deeper meaning in life which involves clearing out the mistakes to absorb messages and change behaviours for a healthier collective reasoning. 

Self-care is a start. 

A topic I wasn’t taught about as a child in the 80-90s, and something I had to learn in my twenties when I first found myself in various rock bottom voids.

As you can imagine, this work is not a once-in-a-while thing. It takes commitment and daily practice and having a guiding intention that stokes personal motivation for dedicated reasons. A daily embodied process gets us out of our heads and into our living body.

If we want to experience freedom we need to do something different. We need to risk changing our routines committing to our Self.

The act of committing to the Self begins with building inner trust and safety. This relationship with our Self will help the protective parts let go and allow us to begin living the full life we so deeply desire.

If we want freedom and change we must commit to practice. The practice might be journaling, yoga, meditation…whatever works. The relationship with our Self like all relationships requires commitment and time and space.  

Another senior yoga teacher of mine, Lizzie Lasater is here on Substack. Weekly on Sundays she posts amazing input for those looking for moments of deep rest. It’s a start! Take a moment to get out of the head and into the body.